14) May you never be as unhappy as a Catholic in Belfast.

13) Hey! Wake up and drink this!!

12) May the green of your vomit tomorrow echo the green of your eyes tonight.

11) May your codpiece always be a size too small.

10) Here's shrapnel in yer eye!

9) May the wind always be at yer back... less'n o'course, you're a mime.

8) May the grass grow green in your fields, may the sun shine warmly at your back, and may you be back home in your apartment a half-hour before you start puking your guts out.

7) May you never have to hear that caterwauling lass from The Cranberries screech ever again.

6) Git yer hand off me arse or I'll rip yer head off and puke down yer throat.

5) May Erin go bra'less.

4) May you have the hair of Bono and the balls of Sinead O'Connor.

3) May Pamela Lee fondle your blarney stones.

2) Here's to not trippin' over a Kennedy.

and the Number One St. Patrick's Day Toast...

1) May the wind at your back not be the result of the corned beef and cabbage you had for lunch.