What they say... "I'm not used to these darts."
What they mean... I'm not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I'm this bombed.

What they say... "Let's go out to my car and get some cigarettes." (male to female)
What they mean... You would look great face down in my lap.

What they say... "You get this one. The next round is on me."
What they mean... We won't be here long enough to get another round.

What they say... "I'll get this one. The next one is on you."
What they mean... Happy hour is about to end.

What they say... "I haven't seen you around here for a long time."
What they mean... You stuck up little bitch, too good for your old friends?

What they say... "Hey, where is that friend of yours?"
What they mean... I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.

What they say... "let's get out of here."
What they mean... I just dumped a half a pitcher of beer into that Harley guy's helmet.

What they say... "Ever try a body shot?" (male to female)
What they mean... I'm even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.

What they say... "Ever try a body shot?" (female to male)
What they mean... Just think, if I get this wild in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?

What they say... "I don't feel well, let's go home." (female)
What they mean... You're paying more attention to your friends than me.

What they say... "I don't feel well, let's go home." (male)
What they mean... I'm horny.

What they say... "I've had like 10 beers already."
What they mean... I've only had three, but need an excuse to behave this way.

What they say... "Who's got the next round?"
What they mean... I haven't bought a round in almost three years, but I'm an expert at diverting attention.

What they say... "I'm out of here, I have to work in the morning."
What they mean... I owe 100 bucks to that guy who just walked in the door and have been avoiding him since football season.